The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
