some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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