Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need water and some morals
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize