I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
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i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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