Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
