Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
