it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
