didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
