Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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