You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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