I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
