i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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