I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize