At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
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He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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