redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
