After last night, I could never be a politician.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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