actually, I'm a sock model
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
