I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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