Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
50% drunk capacity currently
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
