another moral hangover. fuck.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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