our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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