I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I looked at my own cervix.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's just like the Real World with babies
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
