i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
