I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
