Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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