dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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