Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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