So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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