Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
