Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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