O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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