when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
