I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
