If i come over, it means nothing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.