i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.