Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You're like the curious george of whores
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
