i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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