I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
