Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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