He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
