i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
