I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
