just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
