I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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