I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You can't special order awesome
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
