the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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