Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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