if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
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I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
as a side note pls kill me
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