a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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