i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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