well I can't set my house on fire every night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
They took my balls.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I party with great urgency now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
