chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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