I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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