There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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