forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
