Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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