btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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