They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
