Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
