Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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