i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
