she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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