a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
