This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
